i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
