I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
