I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
