She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize