These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
