You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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