hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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