Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
