Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
