i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
