What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
