I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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