So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
