walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
