my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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