And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
