I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
