But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
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well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
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I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
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