There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
