alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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