Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
