Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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