i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
