If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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