I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
