I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
