So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
