sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
