ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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