On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
