so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
