i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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