I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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