I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
