she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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