suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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