I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
