I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
