I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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