So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
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Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
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Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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