You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
it wasn't lemon gatorade
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
