Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize