2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
