If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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