its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
NoShamevember. You game?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize