She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
