i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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