Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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