i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
