I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
