oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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