His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
