you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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