I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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