lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
