i think my mom watched the whole time
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
