How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize